not the best, but hey...
i miss you, truly miss rockieforte.
---
everyday, buddy holly (don't get the wrong idea, just love the song)
the man who sold the world, bowie
don't pray on me, bad religion
unthought known, pearl jam
unfinished, bnl
trouble, cat stevens
vice and virtues, dropkick murphy's
25 minutes to go, cash
porch, vedder solo
castaway, green day
ain't this the life, boingo
tender lumplings, boingo
drive, r.e.m
i'm so tired, beatles
last exit, pearl jam
all apologies, nirvana
Showing posts with label Nothing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nothing. Show all posts
Thursday, December 31, 2009
2009 in Stories
everything i read this year.. best year ever for books. as with last year, this blog is for me.
---------
---------
1.Cujo- Good-B
2.Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell-Great-A
3S.The Curious Case of Benjamin Button-Good-B+
4.The Fellowship of the Ring-Blah-C
5.The Two Towers- Great-A
6.The Return of the King-Very Good-A-
7.The Children of Hurin-Great-A
8.The Silmarillion-UNFINISHED
9.Diary of a Wimpy Kid- (4/20-4/21)-Good-B
10.Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2 (4/21-4/22)-Good-B-
11.Diary of a Wimpy Kid 3 (4/22-4/23)-Ok-C+
12.Something Wicked This Was Comes (4/23-5/8)-Blah-D*
13.Of Mice and Men (5/8-5/9)-Great-A
14.Pygmy (5/9-5/15)-Good-B-
15.Outcast (5/15-5/18)-Great-A
16S.The Man Who Would Not Shake Hands (5/20)-Good-B-
17S.Beachworld (5/20)-Good-B
18S.The Reaper's Image (5/20)-Good-B+
19.The Terror (5/22-6/15)-Amazing-A+
20S.Mortality (6/5-6/6)-Good-B+
21S.Nona (6/16)-Very Good-A-
22S.Survivor's Type (6/16) -Good-B
23S.Uncle Otto's Truck (6/16)-Good-B+
24S.Morning Deliveries *Milkman #1)-(6/16)-Good-B
25S.Big Wheels: A Tale of the Laundry Game (Milkman #2)-(6/16)-Good-B+
26S.Gramma (6/17)-Great-A
27.The Pearl (6/17-6/18)-Great-A
28.Drood (6/18-7/10)-Amazing-A+
29NF.Silent Bob Speaks (6/27-7/4)-Good-B
30.Omen (7/11-7/13)-Good-B
31.Path of Destruction (7/13-7/21)-Good-B
32.Rule of Two (7/24-8/4)-Good-B+
33.Fragment (8/5-8/7)-Good-B+
34.The Strain (8/8-8/12)-Amazing-A+
35.Prince of Theives (8/15-8/22)-Great-A
36N.The Ballad of the Flexible Bullet (8/22-8/23)-Good-B
37S.The Reach (8/23)-Good-B
38S.Jerusalem's Lot (8/23-8/24)-Very Good-A-
39S.Graveyard Shift (8/24)-Good-B
40S.Night Surf (8/24)-Very Good-A-
41S.I Am the Doorway (8/24-8/25)-Good-B
42.Abyss (8/25-9/4)-Very Good-A-
43S.The Ladies of Grace Adieu (9/5-9/6)-Good-B-
44S.The Mangler (9/5-9/6)-Very Good-A-
45S.The Boogeyman (9/6)-Good-B-
46S.Gray Matter (9/7)-Ok-C
47S.Battlegorounds (9/8)-Ok-C+
48S.Trucks (9/10)-Good-B
49S.Sometimes They Come Back (9/9)-Good-B
50.The Standoff (9/12-10/6)-Good-B+
51S.The Ledge (10/6)-Good-B
52S.The Lawnmowerman (10/7)-Good-B-
53S.Strawberry Spring (10/6)-Ok-C+
54.Oryx and Crake (10/7-10/18)-Amazing-A+
55.I Am Legend (10/19-10/23)-Alright-C
56.Diary of a Wimpy Kid #4 (10/19-10/24)-Good-B
57.The Graveyard Book (10/24-10/27)-Amazing-A+
59.Stardust (10/27-11/01)-Good-B+
60.Death Troopers (11/02-11/06)-Alright-C+
61S.Premium Harmony (11/03)-Good-B
62G.Preludes & Nocturns (11/04-11/06)-Great-A
63.Coraline (11/05-11/07)-Very Good-B+
64N.The Dream Hunters (11/07-11/08)-Amazing-A+
65G.Violent Cases (11/07)-Very Good-B-
66G.Doll's House (11/07-11/09-Amazing-A+
67G.Marvel 1602 (11/09-11/12)-Very Good-B+
68.Under the Dome (11/13-12/04)-Amazing-A+
69G.The Comical Tragedy or the Tragical Comedy of Mr Punch (11/14-11/15)-Good-B-
70G.Superman for All Seasons (11/23-11/24)-Very Good-A
72G.Creatures of the Night (11/24)-Good-B+
73G.The Last Tempation (11/24-11/26)-Great-A
74G.Dream Country (11/26-11/28)-Alright-C+
75G.Seasons of Mist (12/04-12/07)-Great-A
76S.Quitter's Inc (12/07)-Very Good-B+
77.Odd and the Frost Giants (12/10)-Great-A
78.American Gods (12/10-
79N.Ur (12/27-12/30)-Amazing-A+
2.Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell-Great-A
3S.The Curious Case of Benjamin Button-Good-B+
4.The Fellowship of the Ring-Blah-C
5.The Two Towers- Great-A
6.The Return of the King-Very Good-A-
7.The Children of Hurin-Great-A
8.The Silmarillion-UNFINISHED
9.Diary of a Wimpy Kid- (4/20-4/21)-Good-B
10.Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2 (4/21-4/22)-Good-B-
11.Diary of a Wimpy Kid 3 (4/22-4/23)-Ok-C+
12.Something Wicked This Was Comes (4/23-5/8)-Blah-D*
13.Of Mice and Men (5/8-5/9)-Great-A
14.Pygmy (5/9-5/15)-Good-B-
15.Outcast (5/15-5/18)-Great-A
16S.The Man Who Would Not Shake Hands (5/20)-Good-B-
17S.Beachworld (5/20)-Good-B
18S.The Reaper's Image (5/20)-Good-B+
19.The Terror (5/22-6/15)-Amazing-A+
20S.Mortality (6/5-6/6)-Good-B+
21S.Nona (6/16)-Very Good-A-
22S.Survivor's Type (6/16) -Good-B
23S.Uncle Otto's Truck (6/16)-Good-B+
24S.Morning Deliveries *Milkman #1)-(6/16)-Good-B
25S.Big Wheels: A Tale of the Laundry Game (Milkman #2)-(6/16)-Good-B+
26S.Gramma (6/17)-Great-A
27.The Pearl (6/17-6/18)-Great-A
28.Drood (6/18-7/10)-Amazing-A+
29NF.Silent Bob Speaks (6/27-7/4)-Good-B
30.Omen (7/11-7/13)-Good-B
31.Path of Destruction (7/13-7/21)-Good-B
32.Rule of Two (7/24-8/4)-Good-B+
33.Fragment (8/5-8/7)-Good-B+
34.The Strain (8/8-8/12)-Amazing-A+
35.Prince of Theives (8/15-8/22)-Great-A
36N.The Ballad of the Flexible Bullet (8/22-8/23)-Good-B
37S.The Reach (8/23)-Good-B
38S.Jerusalem's Lot (8/23-8/24)-Very Good-A-
39S.Graveyard Shift (8/24)-Good-B
40S.Night Surf (8/24)-Very Good-A-
41S.I Am the Doorway (8/24-8/25)-Good-B
42.Abyss (8/25-9/4)-Very Good-A-
43S.The Ladies of Grace Adieu (9/5-9/6)-Good-B-
44S.The Mangler (9/5-9/6)-Very Good-A-
45S.The Boogeyman (9/6)-Good-B-
46S.Gray Matter (9/7)-Ok-C
47S.Battlegorounds (9/8)-Ok-C+
48S.Trucks (9/10)-Good-B
49S.Sometimes They Come Back (9/9)-Good-B
50.The Standoff (9/12-10/6)-Good-B+
51S.The Ledge (10/6)-Good-B
52S.The Lawnmowerman (10/7)-Good-B-
53S.Strawberry Spring (10/6)-Ok-C+
54.Oryx and Crake (10/7-10/18)-Amazing-A+
55.I Am Legend (10/19-10/23)-Alright-C
56.Diary of a Wimpy Kid #4 (10/19-10/24)-Good-B
57.The Graveyard Book (10/24-10/27)-Amazing-A+
59.Stardust (10/27-11/01)-Good-B+
60.Death Troopers (11/02-11/06)-Alright-C+
61S.Premium Harmony (11/03)-Good-B
62G.Preludes & Nocturns (11/04-11/06)-Great-A
63.Coraline (11/05-11/07)-Very Good-B+
64N.The Dream Hunters (11/07-11/08)-Amazing-A+
65G.Violent Cases (11/07)-Very Good-B-
66G.Doll's House (11/07-11/09-Amazing-A+
67G.Marvel 1602 (11/09-11/12)-Very Good-B+
68.Under the Dome (11/13-12/04)-Amazing-A+
69G.The Comical Tragedy or the Tragical Comedy of Mr Punch (11/14-11/15)-Good-B-
70G.Superman for All Seasons (11/23-11/24)-Very Good-A
72G.Creatures of the Night (11/24)-Good-B+
73G.The Last Tempation (11/24-11/26)-Great-A
74G.Dream Country (11/26-11/28)-Alright-C+
75G.Seasons of Mist (12/04-12/07)-Great-A
76S.Quitter's Inc (12/07)-Very Good-B+
77.Odd and the Frost Giants (12/10)-Great-A
78.American Gods (12/10-
79N.Ur (12/27-12/30)-Amazing-A+
---
American Gods is what i am reading now.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Without Pause [Pry, To]
if i had known then
what i know now...
---
act like you care.
seriously, it'll help us both get through this.
---
a few days ago, months, years, it's all the same now.
then and later.
now and later. ha.
we're sitting on this bench and you look at me, say, "tell him?"
"what?" i say.
like i don't know.
---
hey, look at this. time goes by, and i'm talking to the future.
future. let these waves dissolve away my past.
this is. this is.
---
all these surreal posts, it's how i think. a mile a minute.
confused images in black and white but brilliant with color.
fuck it, i think i'm a little insane.
but it's what makes me sane.
---
"what?" i say.
like i don't know.
suicide is not something contemplated to forget.
now or later.
now and later. ha.
---
i'm walking and these waves are running over my feet.
fall back. breath.
float away.
hey, we all float down here.
---
light years pass. it's days and days and i still haven't told the person i trust most. but that conversation i am having. it's all in my mind. park benches built with a shattered imagination.
it's what i was supposed to tell you.
never found the time.
nerve.
too late now.
---
waiting by the side of the road, i'm looking up and the rain is falling.
falling.
and i wonder exactly what is the meaning of free.
---
all these thoughts. jumbled.
confused. broken.
trying to sort through this mess of broken memories. hearts.
rules, hearts.
promises are not so serious.
---
i look over and she is lying next to me.
sleeping (one more day in hell).
i wonder, (hail, hail) are the lucky ones the ones in love?
---
what the fuck images back black to white.
white to black.
---
if i had known then
what i know now
---
hey, no one understands
i don't need no one to understand
you just don't understand.
---
understand.
being alive is only being conscience to remember it.
little voices telling you.
telling you.
telling.
---
don't you wish.
wish.
hey, i've got a feeling.
a feeling deep inside.
i feeling i can't hide.
whoa, no.
---
hey, it's okay.
don't you know.
it's okay.
whoa, everything is going to be okay.
---
these are thoughts.
---
thoughts.
thoughts.
thoughts.
---
to fix my broken soul (again).
what i know now...
---
act like you care.
seriously, it'll help us both get through this.
---
a few days ago, months, years, it's all the same now.
then and later.
now and later. ha.
we're sitting on this bench and you look at me, say, "tell him?"
"what?" i say.
like i don't know.
---
hey, look at this. time goes by, and i'm talking to the future.
future. let these waves dissolve away my past.
this is. this is.
---
all these surreal posts, it's how i think. a mile a minute.
confused images in black and white but brilliant with color.
fuck it, i think i'm a little insane.
but it's what makes me sane.
---
"what?" i say.
like i don't know.
suicide is not something contemplated to forget.
now or later.
now and later. ha.
---
i'm walking and these waves are running over my feet.
fall back. breath.
float away.
hey, we all float down here.
---
light years pass. it's days and days and i still haven't told the person i trust most. but that conversation i am having. it's all in my mind. park benches built with a shattered imagination.
it's what i was supposed to tell you.
never found the time.
nerve.
too late now.
---
waiting by the side of the road, i'm looking up and the rain is falling.
falling.
and i wonder exactly what is the meaning of free.
---
all these thoughts. jumbled.
confused. broken.
trying to sort through this mess of broken memories. hearts.
rules, hearts.
promises are not so serious.
---
i look over and she is lying next to me.
sleeping (one more day in hell).
i wonder, (hail, hail) are the lucky ones the ones in love?
---
what the fuck images back black to white.
white to black.
---
if i had known then
what i know now
---
hey, no one understands
i don't need no one to understand
you just don't understand.
---
understand.
being alive is only being conscience to remember it.
little voices telling you.
telling you.
telling.
---
don't you wish.
wish.
hey, i've got a feeling.
a feeling deep inside.
i feeling i can't hide.
whoa, no.
---
hey, it's okay.
don't you know.
it's okay.
whoa, everything is going to be okay.
---
these are thoughts.
---
thoughts.
thoughts.
thoughts.
---
to fix my broken soul (again).
Monday, November 23, 2009
Ranking Stephen King (Update #1)
so, since i started dome i have been wondering... how would i rank all the king books? decided to blog them.
---
1. the stand (HS)
2. the dark tower (HS)
3. the drawing of the three (HS)
4. the gunslinger (HS)
5. the wizard and the glass (HS)
6. the wastelands (HS)
7. wolves of the calla (HS)
8. song of susanna (HS)
9. bag of bones
10. salem's lot
11. insomnia (HS)
12. pet sematary (HS)
13. the shining (HS)
14. just after sunset
15. blaze
16. the green mile (HS)
17. hearts in atlantis (HS)
18. the talisman (HS)
19. black house (HS)
20. it
21. different seasons (HS)
22. christine (HS)
23. the eyes of the dragon
24. cell
25. lisey's story
26. duma key
27. desperation (HS)
28. the dark half
29. needful things
30. the dead zone (HS)
31. gerald's game
32. the regulators (HS)
33. misery
34. the coloraldo kid
35. firestarter
36. cujo
37. rose madder
38. from a buick 8 (HS)
39. dolores claiborne
40. rage
41. roadwork
42. the longwalk
43. roadwork
44. cycle of the warewolf
45. carrie (HS)
46. thinner
47. dreamcatcher (HS)
48. the tommyknockers
*on writing would be around #30, but it is non-fiction.
---
there are two collections on the list (three if atlantis is counted, which is shouldn't be) but here is my list of those and the rest:
1. just after sunset
2. everything's eventual
3. different seasons
4. skeleton crew
*i am reading: night shift off and on.
---
what i have yet to read (no novels):
1. danse macabre (non-fiction)
2. four past midnight (collection)
3. nightmares and dreamscapes (collection)
4. storm of the century (screenplay)
i am also sure there are a few short stories, a comic or two, and such randomly. most of which (or all) would be pretty much unobtainable. as well as"weeds" which was an earlier short that was posted on a men's magazine (cavalier) site... can't find the story there any longer though.
---
wow, that took longer than i had thought it would. planning on updating this after dome and again as i read what's left.
---
1. the stand (HS)
2. the dark tower (HS)
3. the drawing of the three (HS)
4. the gunslinger (HS)
5. the wizard and the glass (HS)
6. the wastelands (HS)
7. wolves of the calla (HS)
8. song of susanna (HS)
9. bag of bones
10. salem's lot
11. insomnia (HS)
12. pet sematary (HS)
13. the shining (HS)
14. just after sunset
15. blaze
16. the green mile (HS)
17. hearts in atlantis (HS)
18. the talisman (HS)
19. black house (HS)
20. it
21. different seasons (HS)
22. christine (HS)
23. the eyes of the dragon
24. cell
25. lisey's story
26. duma key
27. desperation (HS)
28. the dark half
29. needful things
30. the dead zone (HS)
31. gerald's game
32. the regulators (HS)
33. misery
34. the coloraldo kid
35. firestarter
36. cujo
37. rose madder
38. from a buick 8 (HS)
39. dolores claiborne
40. rage
41. roadwork
42. the longwalk
43. roadwork
44. cycle of the warewolf
45. carrie (HS)
46. thinner
47. dreamcatcher (HS)
48. the tommyknockers
*on writing would be around #30, but it is non-fiction.
---
there are two collections on the list (three if atlantis is counted, which is shouldn't be) but here is my list of those and the rest:
1. just after sunset
2. everything's eventual
3. different seasons
4. skeleton crew
*i am reading: night shift off and on.
---
what i have yet to read (no novels):
1. danse macabre (non-fiction)
2. four past midnight (collection)
3. nightmares and dreamscapes (collection)
4. storm of the century (screenplay)
i am also sure there are a few short stories, a comic or two, and such randomly. most of which (or all) would be pretty much unobtainable. as well as"weeds" which was an earlier short that was posted on a men's magazine (cavalier) site... can't find the story there any longer though.
---
wow, that took longer than i had thought it would. planning on updating this after dome and again as i read what's left.
Update: "HS" are books I read in high school.
:)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
: )
Commala-come-come
The battles now begun!
And all the foes of Men and Rose
Rise with the setting sun.
---
Stephen King said today that he is not yet finished with the Dark Tower novels.
The battles now begun!
And all the foes of Men and Rose
Rise with the setting sun.
---
Stephen King said today that he is not yet finished with the Dark Tower novels.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Under the Dome
---
november 10th, although i am going to be on the mercy of the USPS. over a thousand pages, and every review i have read has been stellar.
i'm not expecting it to be as good as the stand but i would not be disappointed if it was.
also, up comes out this week... the 10th as well.
good week, sobering week.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Used to Be We Knew Who We Were
it's weird when you hear that someone you have not seen, but were once close to, had been thinking of you. i get this e-mail , and it says, "i've been thinking of you. thinking of those stupid pictures we used to draw in physics.".
that is literally the entirety of the message. 16 words, 21 syllables.
at first, i was happy that someone had been thinking of me for no reason, then, i started to think about physics and how i felt about this person at the time we were "drawing those stupid pictures". i don't remember what they were of, because most of the time i was analyzing everything everything about devynne. i don't know why, i don't know why it mattered.
still don't, not really.
i tend to try to read people, and usually i am pretty good with it. i can read moods pretty well, lies and truth, anger, happiness.
maybe i shouldn't, but it's in my head that i need to. some compulsion (excessive?), a need, to understand how people are the way they are. i waste time doing this though. waste time thinking of why someone said this, or wrote this, or laughed at this joke, or smiled at me this way, or had a tone of anger in their voice, or kissed this way, hugged that way...
see what i mean?
thoughts, too much thinking kills me.
so here i am sitting on this computer for the first time in what feels like months, spilling out my soul, my thought-process, into the empty space of the internet.
---
i miss people i still talk to.
contradictory, no? i mean, how could i miss someone i talk to on a more or less regular basis?
i just do though, it feels like jennifer all over again... where i am losing touch with people for no reason, people i love, and i feel it's me at fault in some way.
it isn't me blaming myself, just how i feel.
---
i used to know what it meant for me to be in love, and i am not going say i don't still know.
i guess that would be a lie. it's just that my definition of love is no longer the same, not since three months ago.
---
i am just rambling. i guess i am just trying to say that i am not okay.
not okay.
that is literally the entirety of the message. 16 words, 21 syllables.
at first, i was happy that someone had been thinking of me for no reason, then, i started to think about physics and how i felt about this person at the time we were "drawing those stupid pictures". i don't remember what they were of, because most of the time i was analyzing everything everything about devynne. i don't know why, i don't know why it mattered.
still don't, not really.
i tend to try to read people, and usually i am pretty good with it. i can read moods pretty well, lies and truth, anger, happiness.
maybe i shouldn't, but it's in my head that i need to. some compulsion (excessive?), a need, to understand how people are the way they are. i waste time doing this though. waste time thinking of why someone said this, or wrote this, or laughed at this joke, or smiled at me this way, or had a tone of anger in their voice, or kissed this way, hugged that way...
see what i mean?
thoughts, too much thinking kills me.
so here i am sitting on this computer for the first time in what feels like months, spilling out my soul, my thought-process, into the empty space of the internet.
---
i miss people i still talk to.
contradictory, no? i mean, how could i miss someone i talk to on a more or less regular basis?
i just do though, it feels like jennifer all over again... where i am losing touch with people for no reason, people i love, and i feel it's me at fault in some way.
it isn't me blaming myself, just how i feel.
---
i used to know what it meant for me to be in love, and i am not going say i don't still know.
i guess that would be a lie. it's just that my definition of love is no longer the same, not since three months ago.
---
i am just rambling. i guess i am just trying to say that i am not okay.
not okay.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Progressive Abandonment
“I don't believe in fate or destiny. I believe in various degrees of hatred, paranoia, and abandonment. However much of what gets heaped upon you doesn't matter - it's only a matter of how much you can take and what it does to you.”
-Rollins
---
Monday, August 17, 2009
Because Escape...
... is never the safest place, i am going to stay away from this for the rest of this month.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
"Did You Feel You Were Tricked..."
"...by the future you picked?"
i am sitting here, reading something and wondering about you. really wondering about what you believe. what i believe, and if either of those things matter in the least.
it is one of those moments where i am realizing that what i thought was pointless is not, but what i thought was worthwhile is pointless.
if not meaningless.
the pursuit is what is starting to matter though.
the knowledge that there is something to gain in the knowledge.
the hope that there is knowledge to be gained in the first place.
do you have hope anymore? are you okay?
i am sitting here, reading something and wondering about you. really wondering about what you believe. what i believe, and if either of those things matter in the least.
it is one of those moments where i am realizing that what i thought was pointless is not, but what i thought was worthwhile is pointless.
if not meaningless.
the pursuit is what is starting to matter though.
the knowledge that there is something to gain in the knowledge.
the hope that there is knowledge to be gained in the first place.
do you have hope anymore? are you okay?
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Uncontrolled Thoughts
i'm looking out the window right now thinking of what to write on this virtual paper, this place where i sometimes escape.
release.
it has been ten days or so from my last "blog" that really wasn't a blog at all, but when you can't put thoughts down, when i can't put thoughts down, i might as well put something harmless up so i don't forget i have this blog.
but maybe that is an exaggeration. i really don't forget i have this space to vent even when i neglect it.
---
i'm listening to the molo session of "long road" right now, realizing that the three pearl jam songs vedder recorded with the south african choir are probably the best versions of those songs.
it's sometimes is odd to me when my favorite songs by a band are not done by the band.
---
"that's my place to get away"
i just realized, reading through my texts, how similar we are.
not in a creepy romantic way or anything, and in all honesty i didn't think so when you told me you thought so. but every time, over the past few months, i have got a text or message from you, i have thought about it.
it's an odd thing to realize, but i am not sure why.
---
why do people watch wrestling?
---
i am reading a book (fictionalized-but historically accurate) on the last decade (or so) of charles dickens's life. it's told from the standpoint of william collins (moonstone), a close friend of dickens, and it really examines a spiraling obsession and how it effected the genius author.
it is one of those thought provoking novels. every time i read a novel or book (non-fiction), or even see a documentary on someone who had an unmatched intelligence, it always hints that the person was not quite right.
that as they grew, or became more popular, or whatever they sort of went insane.
there are theories on this for shakespeare, da vinci, einstein, dickens...
it's just sort of worrisome that so many of the greatest minds the world will ever know were somewhat insane.
but at the same time, it makes me realize that one cannot label, or define, "normal".
---
i really want to write a parody of a brother's grimm fairy tale. i don't know which one i would pick, but thinking about it, i really think it would be "little red riding hood".
i think that is probably the most interesting to reinterpret.
---
friendships are really bizzare to me.
if only because i never understand them.
---
i think that's good for today.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
No Post
no real post today.
just a busy day.
tomorrow's will be "up (2D) versus up (3D)".
boring, but it is more for me to remember than anything.
friday a personal blog.
saturday a "book" blog, but not sure what that means yet.
sunday, most likely another personal blog.
just a busy day.
tomorrow's will be "up (2D) versus up (3D)".
boring, but it is more for me to remember than anything.
friday a personal blog.
saturday a "book" blog, but not sure what that means yet.
sunday, most likely another personal blog.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Our Lives are Parallel
"go then, there are other worlds than these."
-jake chambers, the gunslinger
---
i'm sitting here, and for whatever reason that quote is stuck in my head. it won't go away, it is just sitting in the fore of my mind, and, as always with (anything about) king's dark tower epic, the idea of it is really fascinating me.
king's tower epic deals in so many ways with the idea that there are multiple universes, and everything in all the universes run parallel and what happens in one directly effects the rules and history of the other.
it just always makes me think, not because it is a theory (einstein's "parallel earth" theory) that is a real-life idea, but because i look at life in a way that is so similar to this idea; this idea that worlds are connected is how i look at life.
i think that everyone on earth somehow, eventually, effects every other person.
maybe not in real meaningful ways, but still, i believe we all have some effect on one another. i know all of those i asked to read this, and they may go on to say something about what (to someone else) i wrote in one of these (mostly) nonsensical blogs, and thus i am interconnected with someone i have no idea of.
i keep thinking of this parallel lives idea, that even without knowing someone, i am connected to them.
similarly, one of you may say something to me, have me listen to a song, and i may pass THAT on, and thus you have touched someone you don't know.
it's like a wave, and by doing one thing, you actually could effect dozens. hundreds.
thousands.
it's a bizarre thought, and i think the idea that writing... blogs, stories, poems, essays, whatever... can make people more connected than so many other forms of communication, and because of this, connect to more people...
i think it's what makes writing so important to me.
it just makes me really wonder...
---
time: 10:38
-jake chambers, the gunslinger
---
i'm sitting here, and for whatever reason that quote is stuck in my head. it won't go away, it is just sitting in the fore of my mind, and, as always with (anything about) king's dark tower epic, the idea of it is really fascinating me.
king's tower epic deals in so many ways with the idea that there are multiple universes, and everything in all the universes run parallel and what happens in one directly effects the rules and history of the other.
it just always makes me think, not because it is a theory (einstein's "parallel earth" theory) that is a real-life idea, but because i look at life in a way that is so similar to this idea; this idea that worlds are connected is how i look at life.
i think that everyone on earth somehow, eventually, effects every other person.
maybe not in real meaningful ways, but still, i believe we all have some effect on one another. i know all of those i asked to read this, and they may go on to say something about what (to someone else) i wrote in one of these (mostly) nonsensical blogs, and thus i am interconnected with someone i have no idea of.
i keep thinking of this parallel lives idea, that even without knowing someone, i am connected to them.
similarly, one of you may say something to me, have me listen to a song, and i may pass THAT on, and thus you have touched someone you don't know.
it's like a wave, and by doing one thing, you actually could effect dozens. hundreds.
thousands.
it's a bizarre thought, and i think the idea that writing... blogs, stories, poems, essays, whatever... can make people more connected than so many other forms of communication, and because of this, connect to more people...
i think it's what makes writing so important to me.
it just makes me really wonder...
---
time: 10:38
Sunday, June 7, 2009
"Undefinable"
one of the options for my critical thinking final was to write a research paper on what "true love" is. at first i thought that this essay would be a breeze. after all, how hard can it be to push out a paper on something i have written on four or five times in an academic setting?
then i sat down, started to type, and churned out a rough outline and introduction. i read it, reread it, analysed, cut, added.
all of this to just a single paragraph and jotted down nonsensical ideas.
then i took it to class, and realized that i had written it in a way that closely resembled my fiction voice. it read almost like a short story, giving cliched views on what love is. a hand held, a stolen kiss in the rain.whatever.
it was a fucking joke. the one paragraph was just a romance movie reel.
it was, in short, fiction. a fictitious view that i couldn't believe i had written. not because it was bad, i didn't really think that, but it was really my view on love.
---
i look at love in a variety of ways, not many that are really conventional. for instance, i don't believe that we only have one "true love".
i think that we all have the person we are destined to be with, and the person we can't have. can't have for so many reasons. commitments, children, jobs, friendships. whatever.
i also don't believe many people are in love, and that for many people "in love" passion drives lives. or monetary positioning.
something meaningless.
---
best symbol of love?
best way you can express love to someone? i really thing hand holding does it more than anything else.
kissing, sex, gifts.in truth, that all is just more.
simply, i think holding someones hand is love.
---
i love.
i always give off this vibe that maybe i don't believe in it that much, that i just have a devil may care attitude towards it. but the truth is, the truth is, i know i've been in love. i know what love is.
i've felt it.
i've been it.
i've held its hand.
---
you listen to songs, you see movies, you read books. all of these mediums speak of love. speak of a word that just is used as a selling point.
selling point, because too many depict some perfect bliss.
some perfect love.
i don't believe in perfect love. it's supposed to have it's faults. your partners are supposed to stumble, to hate you a little, to love you more, to run away, come back, eat and sleep alone after a fight.
say, "fuck you."
say, "goodbye."
it needs everything.
it needs to live humanly before it's love.
---
again, i believe in love. i just don't believe in the word being defined in any way.
it is undefinable.
a voice. a god. lifelike and deathlike in just how unknown it is.
full of sadness and misery, but always there to make you into a better person.
it's all we need, and it's all we can hope for.
---
time: 20:14 :/
i hate this post.
then i sat down, started to type, and churned out a rough outline and introduction. i read it, reread it, analysed, cut, added.
all of this to just a single paragraph and jotted down nonsensical ideas.
then i took it to class, and realized that i had written it in a way that closely resembled my fiction voice. it read almost like a short story, giving cliched views on what love is. a hand held, a stolen kiss in the rain.whatever.
it was a fucking joke. the one paragraph was just a romance movie reel.
it was, in short, fiction. a fictitious view that i couldn't believe i had written. not because it was bad, i didn't really think that, but it was really my view on love.
---
i look at love in a variety of ways, not many that are really conventional. for instance, i don't believe that we only have one "true love".
i think that we all have the person we are destined to be with, and the person we can't have. can't have for so many reasons. commitments, children, jobs, friendships. whatever.
i also don't believe many people are in love, and that for many people "in love" passion drives lives. or monetary positioning.
something meaningless.
---
best symbol of love?
best way you can express love to someone? i really thing hand holding does it more than anything else.
kissing, sex, gifts.in truth, that all is just more.
simply, i think holding someones hand is love.
---
i love.
i always give off this vibe that maybe i don't believe in it that much, that i just have a devil may care attitude towards it. but the truth is, the truth is, i know i've been in love. i know what love is.
i've felt it.
i've been it.
i've held its hand.
---
you listen to songs, you see movies, you read books. all of these mediums speak of love. speak of a word that just is used as a selling point.
selling point, because too many depict some perfect bliss.
some perfect love.
i don't believe in perfect love. it's supposed to have it's faults. your partners are supposed to stumble, to hate you a little, to love you more, to run away, come back, eat and sleep alone after a fight.
say, "fuck you."
say, "goodbye."
it needs everything.
it needs to live humanly before it's love.
---
again, i believe in love. i just don't believe in the word being defined in any way.
it is undefinable.
a voice. a god. lifelike and deathlike in just how unknown it is.
full of sadness and misery, but always there to make you into a better person.
it's all we need, and it's all we can hope for.
---
time: 20:14 :/
i hate this post.
---
[edit: fixed spelling mistakes... 6/7]
Saturday, June 6, 2009
13 Minutes
i am starting something that i attempted to do with my pry, to blog on this "unraveling seems" blog.
for the next 13 days (starting tomorrow) i will be writing blogs within a 13 minute time frame. i want to try this because, hopefully, the blogs that come out of it will be more "me" then the blogs i have so far posted here.
hopefully.
every blog is posted at 12:01am even if i write the post beforehand.
for the next 13 days (starting tomorrow) i will be writing blogs within a 13 minute time frame. i want to try this because, hopefully, the blogs that come out of it will be more "me" then the blogs i have so far posted here.
hopefully.
every blog is posted at 12:01am even if i write the post beforehand.
they can also be about ANYTHING that's on my mind, so monday's will probably be about up in
3-d... tomorrows i have no idea.
Surface
through the eyes of thought you have to believe there is something more inside yourself than what you present to the ones around you on a day-to-day basis.
i'm not really talking on a conscience level either, but maybe in an "under the surface" way.
last night i wrote this drunken haze poem, and it was not very long, but something in it struck me for whatever reason because it was something that i didn't think outwardly. didn't "project". to others, to myself, it was something below whatever surface hiding behind my breaking mind.
"all these times
shattered like a memory
rising through the mind like a morning haze
and we await the long sunset
where you have been you
and i have been me
next to the seashore
where you remembered
all the times
that we never shared"
i wrote these lines and i know what they meant. sort of, i know why i wrote them, and thinking that they were not about what they may look like they are about at first glance, and really the whole thing is really about myself. not anyone.
myself, and what i am doing wasting time.
i don't know. i think, after last night, that there is so much we don't know about ourselves. about how we feel. about how we feel about others.
destinations.
dreams, aspirations, fears and regrets.
it's all just behind the surface of our minds. just waiting.
it's all just hard to imagine, and because we can't express...
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