Vanishing Act

i don't know how to say things i really should have said, or rather, i wish i could say things that i need to say. 

not sure where this is going. 

i guess after awhile that i really thought it didn't matter if you left or not, you wanted to,  and really that was fine. you wanted to get away, you wanted to just be away. i just don't know what you wanted to be away from. i don't get how leaving helps more so than staying and moving. 

just going forward at a better pace. 

you shouldn't have stayed for friends, i am not saying that. i just think there i more here... maybe not for yourself so much as in yourself. 

that makes no sense. 

i don't know what you have planned up there, i don't know what is there. 

maybe i just didn't want you to leave. maybe, i just didn't want to see another friend just go.

just pull some vanishing act where we drift, where you drift, and words become simple and complexities are lost. where it's just "how're you?"

"fine". 

vanish into some unknown where i cannot follow, or look into for fear of seeing nothing but loss.  i don't know.

i don't know, and countless question remain unanswered.