Maybe

climbing up to the mountaintop where you know the view will only be of polluted cityscapes and hazy skies that lack the baby-blue sheen that that world has forgotten, you think, maybe.

just a single word made into a world of possibilities, it is what is driving you to the mountain's epic top but ultimate letdown. along the way you see cracked rocks, running streams, and an eagle soaring: all of which remind you that the world is still full of some second rate nature that a photograph can no longer capture in perfection.

you continue the climb, thinking about the past, and like moses atop mount sinai, you hope that mayhap some revelation is awaiting up on high. you think, again, maybe. 

it is that word that holds you in thrall. maybe is an exception, almost like saying, "but", just with different defining qualities.

yet, the climb you climb, knowing that maybe is a possible outcome of what is essentially an exodus and an odyssey, is what you feel you must do. it is a driving force taking you further and further away from what could be your personal perfection.

your door to other worlds is ignored as you climb to the mountaintop that could hold death, despair, loneliness, all wrapped up in some hideous approximation of destiny.

yet maybe is all you think of, maybe.

maybe.

Nothing

"The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless..."

- Stephen King, "The Body (Stand by Me)"

Oceans (Pearl Jam)

Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Glide me towards you
Know something's left
And we're all allowed
to dream of the next
Oh the next... time we touch..........

You don't have to stray
Two oceans away
Waves roll in my thoughts
Hold tight the ring...
The sea will rise...
Please stand by the shore...

I will be...
I will be...
There once more.........

---

Honestly think I am losing my mind a little.

So Sad, Little Boy

the little boy sits up in the dead of night and looks through the open door where a shaft of light from the hallway shines through.

he's safe lying in his parent's bed, mommy on one side, daddy on the other.

he knows something has been wrong with his mommy, she's been crying a lot. more than the little boy could ever remember.

daddy has been quiet, always holding mommy. always saying things to her in a voice the little boy has never heard him use. he's always saying, "sorry" and "i love you". and the little boy wonders what's wrong with mommy.

it started a few days ago, when papa went to sleep. since then mommy has been sad, and the little boy can't make her smile her real smile. the one that shows her teeth, the one she uses when she sees him laugh. since then the little boy has been sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed, he is afraid when they sleep.

that like papa, they won't wake the next day.

---

[incomplete]

:/